Radical Acceptance | Self-Portrait Series | Chicago, Illinois Portrait Photographer
It’s been two years since my last blog post.
My best friend Talia was telling me about a conversation she had with her Buddhist partner around radical acceptance. No fighting or denying reality but making peace with what is. I’ve actually been practicing this ideal without knowing the term for it. I am an eternal optimist, especially potent when it comes to heart shattering moments. Those are times I show the most gratitude and love towards God and myself. I was looking through my Instagram posts and found a quote that I wrote during a medical scare a few years back: “Make way for only good to fill your life & mind. Even if the outcome isn’t the ending you envisioned, it is uniquely yours.” Earlier last year a healer once asked me what I’m most proud of myself for. I gave it a moment’s thought and confidently decided: “No matter what I may feel or say, I always do the right thing.” Trust that there is a greater divine plan; trust that you’re a good person and will always try to do right by yourself and others; and trust that it will all make sense someday.
I now call the beautiful city of Chicago my home. Before my move I’d only been to Chicago once for a music festival in 2017––no more than five days long. Deep down I knew. Your intuition speaks calmly to your heart, and really it’s on you to trust the divine instructions. I packed up everything I had within a month of deciding and moved to a city where I thought I knew no one. But coming here felt like coming home. I’m amazed by how much more serendipitous my life has since become. At my first Lollapalooza as a Chicago resident, I had an epiphany: the only guarantee in life is that I’m mutable. Life and I are ever-changing. I smile to myself thinking about how unpredictable I am because I’m so familiar with her now. But I know she puzzles quite a few. Each evolution is so that I can authentically live my truth and continue being the woman I love to be. Love is about changing and finding someone who can change alongside you through life. As if the past year wasn’t monumental enough for my growth, my 25th birthday fell on a New Moon! It’s like I activated an entirely new realm once I became realigned with myself. The memories surrounding the weeks around my birthday are sacred to me and will be tattooed on my heart forever. It’s akin to being in awe of nature. How naive of me to marvel at this beautiful Earth God has created and not think that the same level of imagination would apply to my own story. When circumstances are orchestrated in a way that you’d never be able to make possible on your own, God’s hand is in your life. The amount of miracles I’ve witnessed in the past nine months—let alone my entire life—is not for the faint of heart.
I’ve begun to experience the true meaning of being limitless. I have an unbreakable bond with the wild woman in me. She is wise, independent, fiercely protective of her loved ones, and has an unlimited capacity to give to those who need her while still nourishing herself. I’m witnessing myself become the woman of my dreams. One of my favorite things to do is give myself everything I want.
I have so much work to do this year to make my dreams come true. Really, only my parents can listen to me monologue their ears off about everything I’m going to accomplish. I’m thankful beyond comprehension that they truly see what a powerful individual I am and make all effort to support me in becoming her even when it pushes them out of their comfort zone. I’m so grateful for my family in the Philippines and their faith in me. I love proving them right and exceeding their imaginations.
With the career opportunity of my dreams finding its way to me a week before Christmas, I am free to pursue my art however I wish. Photographs document feelings, memories, and connections that can only be done justice by living. I always tell my girls how important it is to remember who they are at this time in their life. So I did the same for myself. I bought a Sirui VHD-2004L tripod and Canon 470EX-AI from local Chicago camera shops Central Camera Company and Dodd Camera, used my loyal Canon 6D, nifty Canon 35mm, and let myself flow. I had a few ideas in mind for this self-portrait series, but I mainly danced around my apartment, felt the music, let my vibes lead the way, and stayed true to who I am.
This is how I see the world. Thank you to everyone who has come and gone, stayed for the long haul, and supported me. I hope I’ve been able to help you in some way.
XOXO SHANNEN
